Dream

Dear Beloved Readers,

Once Upon a time I wanted to write a novel, more specifically a romance novel because when this epiphany came to me I was obsessed with Twilight. I remembering thinking, heck I can do this. Of course that dream disappeared because I realized that I didn’t even understand the concept of love and romance; and let’s be real I didn’t have my first love encounter till I was 22. So what the heck would I be able to write about? Anyways the dream came and went but my dream to write was always there. At one point I was obsessed and wrote a journal of short stories and random commentaries about my life. At this point in my life I was reading nonstop journals/memoirs by David Sedaris and loved his quick sarcastic humor. He also spend a lot of time talking about his own personal life experience and his upbringing, but always managed to bring humor to the most painful part of his life. I loved that he was able to see the silver lining in his obscure home life and I wanted to do the same in my own writings. However, that passion of short journals and commentaries didn’t last because I realized I hadn’t experience enough life to be the slightest bit entertaining. Later on my husband, who was then my boyfriend, dreamed we would one day write a kids book. We brain stormed what kind of book we wanted and came to the conclusion that it would be something between “Harold and the Purple crayon” (which is my favorite kids book) and “Where’s Waldo”, so you could guess it would have a lot of pictures. Of course, if anyone knows Josh they would quickly assess that Josh is not a writer and his spelling is atrocious. However, he’s a wonderful artist and he would draw all the pretty pictures while I would come up with a concept and storyline. I worked on it and wrote 5-6 single spaced pages of what could one day adapted as a knock off Harry Potter meets Game of Thrones, definitely not kindergarten friendly. So I guess you can say that idea was put in the back burner, never to be heard of again, well until this point. Anyway, the dream to write continues and here I am writing a short story of my random attempts to be a published author. But because I am a bit A.D.H.D and my hyperness mixed with writing is not the most amazing combination; I could really only put together a small thought with a quick concept before something new grabbed my attention. Thus my conquest for blogging was created.Somewhere in my mind though, I am still living this fine line of ; do I continue to pursue something I love; being fully aware  I may never get recognition or gain followers that may never read this post? Does a dream come into reality only when you feel like a recognized success? And how are we measuring success?

I share this story because this morning, instead of spending time doing my devos I went straight to my Facebook. Only to sit back and feel defeated. I noticed that a lot of people I know are chasing dreams that I only wished I had attempted. I started to play the comparing game, which many of us are familiar with. I started to wish my life away, the life I am living now, which is beautiful. In this awful comparison game I started to see everyone else’s success in their artistic,musical, writing attempts. It got even worse because I went down the cyber rabbit hole and opened instagram, only to look at how many “followers” each one of my friends had in their vlog, or online artistic platforms. Only to look at myself and think of what an utter failure I was. Again, I lead you back to the question above. Does a dream come into reality only when you feel like a recognized success?  This selfie obsessed generation has produced egotistical people in the pursuit to be “known”.But GOD knows us so well and says in scripture; 1 Corinthians 11:4 that if we view God as a merely a means to obtain earthly blessing, we have bought into a false gospel.  Psalm 119:36 says, “Incline my (Your) heart to your testimonies, and not to selfish gain.” I…AM… A  product of this selfie obsessed culture and I am here to tell you that , ministry and dreams should not be pursued out of recognition, but out of the abundance and outpour of your heart. I had to take a step back and re-examine my heart and see why I was so shaken by comparing my dreams to everyone else? So I climbed out of the cyber rabbit hole and took to opening my devotional (which I failed to do in the first place) and the verses of the day were Joshua 1:9 and Jeremiah 29:11-13

Joshua 1:9 “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you where you go.”

Jeremiah 29:11-13 “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then I will call upon me and come and pray to me and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.”

I think we are so quick to give up on ourselves when we play the comparison game. But God is telling us, to be strong and courageous when it comes to our dreams to further His kingdom. I had to take a good hard look at following my dreams and ask God, why I was doing what I was doing? Jeremiah 29:11 expresses that God has plans for you, but in my own experience I noticed that when your dreams line up with the plans and purposes of God then there is nothing that can stand in your way of pursuing it. What it requires is for us to move by faith and pursue these dreams with Him. This kind of move to action reminds me of a documentary I saw a few days ago with my husband. Its called “Queen Mimi” and you can watch it on netflix, but this women Mimi has been homeless on the street of upper class Santa Monica. She made a lot of friends in the community in her 20 years of living on the streets. You can say she is a bit of a celebrity in her own right, with such a large personality and being the age of 88. In the time that she’s lived in Santa Monica she has had a lot of hand outs from business owners and even celebrities like Renee Zellweger and Zach Galifianakis. At one point in the documentary Zach is being interview and he is asked, what made you buy an apartment for Mimi after 18 years of knowing her? and he said that he should of done it years ago, but in his early career he was out to gain his own success. So there were times where he exploited Mimi to get a laugh or would take her to dinner to make himself feel better about …himself. He said finally he had to realize what he was doing was wrong and that ,” rarely,do we, as humanity have a chance to just partner with people without any selfish gain to help them make their dreams come true.” For Mimi her only dream was to have a home of her own. This documentary struck a cord in my heart. I believe Jesus asks the same of our dreams and aspirations, that we may be able to partner in His ultimate plans to save all humanity and not for selfish gain.

I’ll leave you with my final thoughts. For years I’ve had to realign my heart to line up with God. God has been patiently waiting for me to relinquish control , so that He may mold my mind and heart for His plans and desire for me. Forget looking at everyone else and where they are at in their own journey and start looking at how to dream again with God in the picture. Whether you are new in the Lord or you have been following Him for years, I know that God has something beautiful in store for you, it’s a promise in His word, just look back at Jeremiah 29. Dream again.

“You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream”-C.S Lewis

 

Love you guys, Comment Below and tell me what your dream is?

Amy

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4 Comments Add yours

  1. Melissa Finifrock says:

    Amy,
    I still am tempted to play the comparison game. Have to tell myself “stop it”. We are all uniquely gifted. You radiate joy and you have gifts of humor, communication ,leadership& music . Many others that I don’t even know about!
    God has given you powerful evidence of His unfailing love .Never stop telling about it.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Love love love this!!!!! It’s so what I needed tonight! To choose to surrender the dream and re align my heart with His dream. That’s what takes the selfish motive out. Thank you for writing this! 💛

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Reblogged this on Where Mo Goes and commented:
    Such a good post from an incredible writer! 💛

    Liked by 1 person

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